• “In mathematics, you don’t understand things, you just get used to them”
    John von Neumann

  • “Dr. von Neumann, ich möchte gerne wissen, was ist denn eigentlich ein Hilbertscher Raum?”
    David Hilbert

  • “Ostensibly we live in three dimensions — don’t tell the physicists I said that”
    Me

  • “I need that 22 to turn into a 21”
    Don Lawrence

  • “It’s a little a lot.”
    Noah Smith, as recorded by Melia Valentine

  • “Phenomenologizing”
    Kawena Jacobs

  • “The one we need is the one that is correct”
    Ramin Naimi
    “That almost never happens”
    Don Lawrence

  • “The venerable order of the geek”
    Alec Schramm

  • “I’ve never had a dream before”
    Jimmy Miller

  • “Do I look like a person who enjoys celebrating?”
    Me

  • “With great loss of generality”
    Don Lawrence

  • “My intuitive thought is, never mind I changed my idea”
    Ethan Coulthard

  • “It’s some topology term”
    Noah Smith
    “Movie?”
    Jonah Hasegawa

  • “It’s okay because it’s partial”
    Brandon Le

  • “There are people that study what functions you can make on Turing machines with finite space”
    Fausto Navarro Cepeda
    “Yeah, they’re called software engineers”
    Khoa Nguyen

  • “You’re supposed to develop schizophrenia after your PhD”
    Liam Staker

  • “Diet coke is like drinking a hangnail”
    Anonymous

  • “Are you feeling consumptive?”
    Vivian Rogers
    “…like I have tuberculosis?”
    Jovan Kessler

  • “Up to philosophomorphism”
    David Chasteen-Boyd

  • Regarding the group $\operatorname{SO}^{+}(2,1)$: “so it’s like general relativity for flat-earthers”
    Alejandro de las Peñas Castaño

  • “GTA is great, it’s like the ultimate expression of free will”
    Gabriel Diraviam

  • “[Rolando] is running back from where? A treadmill?”
    Mike Hartglass

  • “Two nices don’t make nice”
    Brent Nelson

  • “It’s still nuclear war, which isn’t great”
    Me

  • “When I’m really tired my brain tries to find the nearest meme”
    Joey Politano

  • “Polyamorous improv wedding”
    Daphne Hansell

  • “I forgot about half the numbers”
    Ben Hayes

  • “That’s how you prove theorems. You first prove it, then state the theorem”
    Malek Abdesselam

  • “Functionally I don’t think it would be good to be killed by a computer”
    Anonymous

  • “I feel like Shrek is up there with The Godfather”
    Oscar Arevalo